Ex bashing and ex ranting can be too tiring, I should know. And when I read of other girls’ angsts, I can’t help but wonder how in the world these men survive after a blow less of their liking.
I once told a very honorable man, that “exes–or anything remotely related to what they say or do–are not a gauge of one’s character. They’re not valid from the time they decide to stop loving you. That’s reality. It’s not as funny as how (a reality show) might portray it but I know it to be true.” I can say that now because being one to have said too much, I know too well that words spoken in the heat of anger do not come from the heart. And mine has changed. So I have learned that people do, too. It’s just too bad when the manner by which they change are far from good and graceful. Don’t we all forget our manners once in awhile?
I guess everybody’s a jerk to someone and somebody else’s dream come true. Everbody is someone else’s karma, too.
So maybe pretentiousness and deceit aren’t forgivable things. But they don’t matter to me anymore. In as much as one’s lowest point in his life may well be the bain of someone else at that point, right now, what matters is what we all have now.
I am settled. In a life where I am a good mother and that work can only get better. At least I know for sure we will be ok just the two of us and I’m not complaining. Bes said I needed a man to make things easier for me, someone who can handle me. I say, I don’t need one.
But there are apparently men out there who go through a change of heart and a change of fate. The chances are slim, but these men turn out to be the worst of their kind years back and happen to be attracted to a species of women who appear strong and resilient and are pleasantly surprised with the sweetness and fragility trapped inside the facade. Maybe I am just lucky that we chance upon each other where we find ourselves in better places. And we truly are. I hope we are. But you’ll never know.
I am on a level playing field. And I will remain steady as how i’m supposed to be. Otherwise, the fear and anxiety brought by reading through my entire blog will transpire before me. And it’s a vicious cycle I wouldn’t want to have to go through again.
I think I won’t have to. Because some men turn out to be just as grateful; some of them have been humbled; and some are sleazy and obnoxious but can definitely make you laugh. So let’s start with humor. Hopefully the rest will follow.