• Jasmine Mendiola

Today


Today is a holiday, no different from a weekend. For some Filipinos, it is a celebration of a culture and belief that is religiously observed with utmost respect and veneration.

Today I mark the beginning of yet another new endeavor. A risk. A necessary step in order for me to be a better parent, provider and a more satisfied person with work–hopefully. There is very little dissatisfaction, really. I am not one to complain about the career path I took. My opportunities have from far and wide and I am always grateful for them. I am lucky to be able to do many things. Yet the same fortune is the cause of my frustration.

I used to think that more work means more money, more for Mio.

Less commitment mean more time for Mio. Freelancing is the way to go if you want all the time in your hands.

Every month Mio has to go through blood tests and chemo and because we have been gifted with help for so long, it took awhile before I feared the lack of an insurance. I knew that. My Mom constantly bothered me about those things. As the head of the family I should think of those things yet I felt that I could manage.

I’m nearing my 30s yet I feel 40. Today I feel healthy. I have been smoking less, eating healthier food but still without exercise. I am too tired to bother and would rather make good use of my productive time on Mio or making money however way possible.

Today I decide that my 100% is no longer as valuable when it is spread so thinly. Today my son proves to be at the top of his class with an average of 97.5 and that is extraordinary.

He is, isn’t he? Yet in spite of the extraordinary circumstances of our life, right now, today, I desire something normal.

Like you, the insatiable desire to better our quality of life will never go away even if I find the most comfortable and secure means to provide that. But coming from a place where the bare essentials like health and family have been ruffled, the desire takes step back and the simple things that happen everyday like…

Eating my favorite ice cream or a cup of yogurt.

Encountering a new restaurant.

Visiting or seeing a friend.

Free massages.

feel so extravagant! Everyday, everything, count as the better place already. That’s how the days after today, and how today is indeed better than yesterday.

No matter how much more we can have, or what others have in comparison to what I don’t, if I just focus on what I had and did not have, today does fare a whole lot better. 

If I thought like that tomorrow, I’m pretty sure it’ll be a treat. Just like how Mio feels about his points. Everyday is a step closer to a toy. Everyday is a step closer to being 8. And he’s not complaining that he was even sick when he was 5. So I shouldn’t be complaining if I had so much work and is in between that and another. Because I should think like tomorrow is a step closer to improving our quality of life. That’s all that matters.

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Jasmine Mendiola

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©2019 by Jasmine Mendiola